Becoming the Ultimate Food Critic

I want to become the ultimate food critic. You never hear about food critics anymore. People have blogs or social media accounts where they write about food. I feel like we have entered into a point where content doesn’t matter. So many people are producing garbage that it’s difficult to recognize quality material. I am not saying that I’m God’s gift to writing. I know my stuff is imperfect. What I am saying is that I hold myself to a higher standard.

I want to tell readers everything they need to know about a restaurant, dispelling misconceptions and enhancing positives in the process. I don’t believe Yelp or Facebook mean anything. No restaurant owner deserves to have their business torn apart because of some malcontent decided that was their moment when they wanted to grind their ax. Review websites need to do more to weed out this preposterous content.

I’ve written a couple reviews already. I heard absolutely nothing from Sweeto Burrito and Waffle Love gave me the most tepid response possible. That’s unacceptable. I’ve spent far too much of my career thus far groveling for attention. No more. I am not going to beg for anything. I want to get in a position where people will come running whenever I put the word out. I want to start something here. This is not a game.

I will continue to write about companies I’ve covered until they’re willing to step up to the plate. The follow up pieces might come infrequently, but they will come. I believe that if I’m willing to give them attention, they should give me attention. I realize that they will probably take that time to tout the fact that they convinced their friends and family or paid gullible strangers to write bogus positive reviews and inflate their scores. I will not accept such a thing.

I am not saying that every restaurant with positive reviews got them through fraudulent means. It does seem suspicious that every review seems to be exactly the same. They something vaguely positive without saying anything remotely specific. The words in the review don’t even matter. All that matters is the score the person assigned to the review.

Review scores are garbage anyway. Who defines what’s a one, two, three, four, or five? All the reviews I see are either ones or fives, meaning every experience is either absolutely wonderful or absolutely terrible. Not only is that absurd. It’s impossible as well. A review score is just a way to condense a review into a more digestible bite. That’s not how reviews work.


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